i just wanna soil my oats bro
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize