Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
