So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
