bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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