rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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