You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
