Jerry, you need to find god
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my shit smells like andre
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize