He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize