You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need a beard to bite.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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