i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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