I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He did a backflip because drugs
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