thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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