Nicole vs. Life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
