If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
