I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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