Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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