Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
