just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
