I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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