Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
