Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
