ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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