just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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