in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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