Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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