It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize