508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
