We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
