Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
