people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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