glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
