no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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