Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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