Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
