I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
