I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
