yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
