If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
