didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I love you.
Bad choice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
