Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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