dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Oh god it's open bar.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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