Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
