So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
