you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
