How'd it feel making her break her religion?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize