is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
