Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
