I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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