3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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