i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
