ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
