You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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