how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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