we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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