I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
