R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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