Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
