If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
