God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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