Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize